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The Great Escape
Quick note, Perry is NOT wearing a translator in this story, I just think Phineas and Ferb would be able to figure out what Perry is saying if Doofenshmirtz can! So any full sentence in italics is what Perry is "saying" The Great Escape Fourteen year old Phineas Flynn sat, glaring at the blank television set in front of him. “You can’t take care of yourself Phineas. You need us to watch over you Phineas. I’ll take off work so you won’t get into trouble Phineas. Do you want me to cancel the trip so you won’t be home alone Phineas?” he mocked his brother and pet platypus under his breath. Perhaps you are wondering why Phineas is so angry. Well, to explain that, why don’t we backtrack briefly; around eight o'clock this morning is good! Let’s go back there and maybe it will be explained... ****** Ferb Fletcher was packing for a field trip that his world history teacher was taking the class on. It would be a two day trip, so he had to bring extra clothes, hence the packing. “Dude, why did you get the cool history teacher?” his stepbrother Phineas moaned from his bed. Ferb shrugged at Phineas before turning back to his backpack. Where ya going? Ferb jumped when he heard the sound of his pet chatter at him. Whirling around, he scowled at Perry before replying. “FIRST of all, don’t sneak up on me like that. And second, I’m going to a museum two cities over; we’re going to get there tonight, and visit the museum tomorrow. As soon as we’re done there, we’re coming back.” Perry nodded, So, you’ll be gone tonight? Aren’t your parents going out to dinner tonight? “Yep!” Phineas answered, “It’s their date night this month.” Sooooo, if you’re with your class, Candace is at college, and your parents are out, who’s going to stay with Phineas? Ferb cocked his head in a confused fashion, “Aren’t you going to be here?” Phineas, on the other hand, seemed to be a mixture of confused and annoyed. “Wait just a second, can’t I stay by myself?” he asked, only to be ignored. No, I have to fight Doofenshmirtz tonight. He has some weird scheme powered by the moon. “Can’t you just take the time off?” Ferb asked. “Can’t I just stay by myself?” Phineas asked again, and again he was ignored. No, no I can’t. You know how Monogram is, I’m lucky to have this time! “Then what are we going to do?” “EXCUSE ME!” Phineas finally yelled. His brother and pet turned to face him. “Thank you! Now that you’re finally listening; why can’t I stay home by myself?!” The two exchanged nervous glances before trying to casually change the subject. Uhh, maybe I can talk Monogram into a few hours until your parents get home. “Hello?! I asked a question!” Phineas yelped exasperatingly. Umm, Phineas, I uhh... I think Ferb has something to say to you! Ferb glared at the platypus before facing his brother. Phineas stared at him questionably. “Phin, we just think that it.... it’s better if someone is with you tonight.” “Why?” Phineas dipped his head to the side. “Just so nothing happens to you. I mean, mom and dad won’t be home until late, and Perry will have to work until about one.” Phineas scanned his best friends over before crying out in shock, “You don’t think I can take care of myself!” It’s not like that! We just... don’t want to take any chances! “You’ve never done that with Ferb!” the redhead complained. It’s different, Ferb’s...older. Phineas scoffed, “Yeah...BY TWO MONTHS!” ...See? Older... “This is ridiculous!” Phineas yelled as he stormed out of the room. ****** So that takes us back to ten in the morning when Phineas was sitting on the couch glaring at the blank televisi- we already went over this right? Okay, where were we? Oh right! So, as Phineas grumbled about his brother and pet’s over-protectiveness, his father Lawrence Fletcher walked into the living room humming a tune. When he noticed his youngest-BY TWO MONTHS!-son sitting on the couch looking so disgruntled, he paused in his walk. “Well, well, son. What are you so down about? Hmm?” Phineas glanced up at his dad, “It’s nothing, but apparently I can’t take care of myself.” he rolled his eyes. “Who said that?” Lawrence asked. “Ferb and...someone.” “Who?” Phineas shifted uneasily, “No one important. You think I can take care of myself, right?” Lawrence smiled softly, “I think that the more important question here is........................do you want pizza or lasagna tonight?” Phineas stared at his father in awe of the great wisdom that came out of his- wait a second! LAWRENCE TOTALLY KILLED THE MOOD OF THE HEARTWARMING LEARNING SCENE! THAT MADE NO SENSE IN THE CONTEXT! Ugh, whatever, let’s just get back to the story. Phineas raised an eyebrow at his father, “Ummm, pizza?” he uttered once he’d realized Lawrence wasn’t kidding. Lawrence grinned, stood up, and simply walked out of the room. Leaving behind his son, who was probably more confused than before. Just then, in walked Perry and Ferb. Phineas groaned and turned away from them; trying to send a silent message that he wanted nothing to do with them right now. They ignored it, of course. Perry sat on Phineas’ right and Ferb sat on his left. Ferb glanced sheepishly up at Phineas. “Look,” he started, “we don’t want to make you mad. We just think tha-” “That what?!” Phineas spat, “What is the worst that could happen?” You could be kidnapped! Or even killed! No criminal is going to stop at your house and then go, “Oh whoops, this is Phineas Flynn’s house. We can’t go here.” “My parents leave me home alone!” Your parents haven’t seen what I’ve seen! “I still say I can take anything that comes my way.” Says the kid who got kidnapped when he was twelve, and fell off of scaffolding when he was thirteen and oh yeah, ALMOST DIED BOTH TIMES! (*) “And yet I’m still alive and well! And Ferb got kidnapped too! Granted, he didn’t fall off the scaffolding, but if I hadn’t fallen off that, we wouldn’t even know that you’re a secret agent.” Perry sighed, Whatever, it doesn't matter, Monogram won’t give me time off. So I’m going to let you come with me to fight Doofenshmirtz. “No.” “What?” Ferb asked, “You’re joking right? You love going on missions with Perry! You practically beg him to take you!” “Well now I don’t want to be around either of you. And besides, I’m just a weakling. Won’t I only slow you down?” Come on Phin, it’s not like that! Phineas scoffed again. Phineas, c’mon, this is silly. Why can’t you just swallow your pride and accept that we just want to protect you? Phineas gave no reply. “Phineas,” Ferb started, but he was cut off by a horn honking outside, “Phineas please. I have to go, I don’t want to leave while you’re still mad at me!” Phineas still gave no reply. Sighing, Ferb stood and made his way towards the front door; Perry followed silently. Phineas groaned and threw his head back against the head of the couch. ****** At eight Linda and Lawrence said goodbye and left in their red station wagon. After reminding Phineas to not have anyone other than Buford and Baljeet over of course. Until eight thirty Phineas did nothing really. Then at eight thirty he ate his pizza and went back to doing nothing. As for Perry, he tried to sleep until dinner time, at that point he ate his food silently and watched Phineas eat his. Afterwards, he sat in his pet bed waiting for Major Monogram to contact him. Finally, around nine thirty, Perry’s watch beeped frantically. Major Francis Monogram appeared on the screen after he pressed the accept button. “Good evening Agent P.” the major greeted, “Doofenshmirtz is finally ready for you. So you better get on over there. After this you won’t be able to contact us because I have, uhhh, important matters to attend too.” “Major! Hurry up! The Ducky Momo marathon is on!” Carl’s voice rang out. Monogram gave a sheepish smile, “I, uh, have no idea what he’s calling me for! But anyway, I have to go now. Good luck Agent P!” Perry gave a swift salute and leapt out of his bed, whipping his fedora onto his head and rushing up the stairs and down the hall towards Phineas and Ferb’s room. Carefully, he peeked into the blue room, looking for Phineas. He spotted the redhead spread out on his raft bed. Phineas? No answer. Phineas, I know that you’re mad, but I have to go now. Still no answer Look, I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you; if I were to leave, could I trust you to call Baljeet or Buford and get them to come over? Phineas looked up, “Fine.” he said. Perry sighed sadly, Alright, I’ll be back. Don’t let Buford do anything stupid okay? Phineas nodded. Perry walked away, not noticing the way Phineas’ face fell once he turned. ****** Lawrence and Linda drove along, going to the restaurant that they’d had their first date at. Suddenly they passed a hotel, the sign read ‘ANTIQUE CONVENTION 8:00-12:00’ Lawrence’s eyes widened, he turned to his wife. “Linda darling, do you think that maybe we coul-” “No!” Linda cried, “No antique conventions tonight! You did this last month too! We are going to have dinner, maybe if we have time afterwards. Keyword being maybe.” Lawrence pouted, “Okay fine.” ****** So while Lawrence waited patiently for dinner to be finished- “AUUUUGGGHH!!!” ...Okay maybe not so patiently. Anyway, around ten thirty Perry came back home. He slipped through the pet door and crept into the living room, fully expecting to see Phineas, Baljeet, and Buford playing video games with deep concentration. Instead he was greeted by an empty room. Confused, he headed up the stairs; maybe the boys were doing something in the bedroom. That room was vacant as well. So was Candace’s old room, the backyard, the garage, the old tree house, Perry even checked the panic room! Nothing. Phineas? he chattered loudly as he ran throughout the house, Phineas! Phineas this isn’t funny! Where are you?!? In a rush of panic he used one of the secret entrances to his lair, desperately hoping that Phineas was down there. The lights were off when he got there, his screen saver was showing on the computer screen. And, most importantly, it was empty. He paced back and forth; where could Phineas be? He wouldn’t have run off or something right? Maybe he was at Baljeet or Buford’s house. But why hadn’t he left a note? It was still a good idea to check. He ran to his computer and pulled up the video feed taken outside Baljeet’s house. No one had come or gone since Baljeet’s father had come home. Next was Buford’s. Same there. Oh, no wait, that’s his mother. By now Perry was panicking, but he was able to grab his phone and dial Ferb’s number. “Hello?” came the answer from the other end. Ferb! I can’t find Phineas! I went out to my mission and when I came back, he was gone! “What?! Why didn’t you bring him?!” He was supposed to have Buford and Baljeet over! “Okay, what do we do?” I’m sending a hovercar. Tell your teacher you have a family emergency and that someone is here to pick you up. “Okay. Okay. I will. You keep looking alright?” Trust me, I won’t stop. “Kay, bye.” Bye. After Perry hung up, he sent the hovercar and then decided to call a friend of his. ****** Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz was finally getting ready for bed. He’d had an...interesting day, and he was more than ready for the sweet relief of sleep. Of course, his phone would have to go off right then. “If it’s Roooogggerrr, I’m going to...I’m going to...Ah well, it’s too late to make petty threats anyway.” He picked up the phone and got an earful of frantic and suspicious chattering. “Heeelllooo?” he tried to calm down who ever it was on the other end, “Who’s calling?” More chattering. “You know, you sound just like my nemesis Perry the Platypus. You don’t know him, do you?” Rather annoyed chattering this time. “Well excuuuuse me mister ‘I don’t have time for people to say I remind them of someone’.” A tired and unhappy sigh. More annoyed chattering and then the phone hung up. “Well that was weird. And kinda rude too! He just hung up when he didn’t like how the conversation was going! People these days! Ugh. Though I suppose that was more of a platypus than a person.” Suddenly his cell phone beeped; he glanced down and saw that he had a text from Agent P. “Hmm. How did he get in my contacts?” he questioned to himself as he picked the cell up. The text read, Doof, I need your help. One of my owners is missing, I have no idea where he is! Do you know of anyone that could have taken him? Please, don’t just ignore this, it’s not just for me, it’s for Phineas too. Doofenshmirtz’ eyes widened as he read the text. Phineas was missing? Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn’t really hate Perry, and he definitely didn’t hate Perry’s family. So the idea of Perry asking him for help in looking for a member of his family didn’t make him think of demanding something from Perry, or even flat out denying his help. He was honestly rather proud. He knew how much those boys meant to Perry, the platypus was probably desperate to find Phineas. Speaking of which, he should get started. He quickly texted this reply to his nemesis: Perry the Platypus, of course I’ll help you find your owner. I don’t know of anyone offhand, but I’ll call all members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. and research any new villains. I’ll let you know what I find! P.S. I just got a call from another platypus! What a coincidence huh? ****** Across town, Perry smacked his face as he read Doof’s reply. ****** Doofenshmirtz was putting his phone down when his landline went off again. “If it’s that same platypus again-! Why doesn’t he just text me or something?” He picked up the phone and put it next to his ear. “Hello?” his eyes widened as the person on the other end responded. “Wh-” he started before the other person started speaking again. He listened silently until the person was done. “That sounds eeeevvviiill!” he cried in shock, once the person was finished. “I like it.” he smirked. ****** Ferb shot out of the hovercar and burst inside the house. “Perry!” he shouted loudly, just as a frantic platypus ran full steam around the corner. Ferb! I can’t take this, where is he?! Perry was spazzing out, I’ve checked the video feed in front of Baljeet’s house, Buford’s house and even our house!!! Nothing! Where is he? Where is he?! By this point, Perry’s eyes were wide in panic and he was breathing heavily. Ferb gently guided him to sit down on a chair. “I don’t know Perry. But we can’t give up, we’ll find him, I know we will.” I shouldn’t have left him here alone. I knew I shouldn’t have! Why did I go against my better judgement and leave him here alone? Suddenly a horrifying thought struck Ferb and he sank to the ground clutching at his head. What if there was no one left to find? What if they never got to see Phineas again? And...what if the last thing they’d done was fight? The idea was enough to make Ferb even more determined to find his brother. He would not leave Phineas out there. He would track him down if it was the last thing he did! Wait. Track... “Perry!” Ferb could never remember how exactly he got to his feet and yanked Perry up into his arms, but he did. “Perry, didn’t you put tracking devices in our invisible head helmet systems?” Perry’s eyes lit up and a rare smile grew across his face. Ferb... let’s go to the lair. ****** Ferb leaned over Perry’s shoulder as the secret agent pulled up the global positioning satellite program. Gnawing on his bottom lip, the platypus entered Phineas’ first and last name. The word ‘loading...’ flashed across the screen several times before his location finally popped up. The two in the lair could’ve cried from the relief they felt at that point. They were going to find him. ****** Two shadowy figures stared at the screen showing the footage of the lair of secret agent P. “They’ll find us soon.” the tallest said. “Yes,” the smaller agreed, “let’s give them a show they won’t soon forget.” They exchanged malicious smiles before turning to go prepare the captive. Phineas Flynn. ****** Lawrence was having a lovely evening, he was drenched in tea, missing the antiques convention, and his wife was angry with him. Truly a wonderful time. You see, being the impatient man he was, he had been fiddling with the tablecloth while his wife ordered their drinks. After the tea had been delivered, he had decided that he needed to go to the bathroom. What he hadn’t realized, was that he had a hole in the tablecloth stuck on the button on his cuff. Yeah. Oops. So now his shirt was stained with tea, his wife was angry that he’d made such a scene, and was demanding that they stay and continue eating. Oh wait, maybe that’s why she was mad, not because of the spilling tea thing, but because he’d tried to use it as an excuse to leave the restaurant. No, it was definitely the fact that he’d spilled tea on himself. Oh well, so much for a magical evening. ****** Perry, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz were walking around the old building, trying to find a safe way inside that no one would expect. “Guys! Over here!” Ferb called out from the back. Whatcha’ got? Perry asked. “There’s a vent here.” “Nice one kid.” Doofenshmirtz complimented. Perry yanked a laser pen out of his hat and burned the vent door off. Once he was done, he gestured for Ferb and Doofenshmirtz to go ahead of him, he followed them in. They crawled for about half an hour, trying to ignore Doof’s complaining the whole way. Finally they reached a ventilation shaft that they could hear people talking through. Ferb and Perry hushed Doofenshmirtz and listened closely to the voices. “Fair deer. Prevail the elf.”(*) Ferb shot a curious look at Perry, who shrugged at him. Then took his fist and slammed it into his hand. Ferb gave a nod and shoved on the shaft door till it collapsed and the three jumped-or in Doofenshmirtz’ case, fell- down into the room. Perry landed with one leg bent and other straight out, one hand down to stay balanced. Ferb tucked and rolled forward next to the semi-aquatic mammal and Doofenshmirtz landed flat on his face. The villain was hidden in the shadows, and the trio didn’t get a chance to step forward before they found themselves flung back into chairs with metal cuffs around their hands and ankles. “You!” Ferb screamed at the man, “You took my brother! Where is he?!” The man chuckled, not moving or speaking more than that. Perry growled angrily, You heard him you freak! Where’s Phineas? The man tsked, “Young man, you ought to keep your platypus under control.” The voice was deep and unfamiliar, it had an almost...robotic sound to it. “Tell me. Where. My. Brother. Is!!!” “Oh him?” Lights lit up the space right next to the crook, a chair sat there, and tied to the chair was a gagged Phineas. The man reached out and ripped the gag from Phineas mouth. “Ferb!” the boy cried in a panic, “Perry! Help!” Ferb struggled against the restraints. “Ah ah ah!” The mystery man called, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A gun was placed against Phineas head. The redhead’s eyes widened, he gulped. The three in the traps gasped. “No!” Ferb screamed, “No don’t!” he tried to leap forward. “I told you not to do that! Now your brother will face the consequences!” He put his finger to the trigger, laughing maniacally. Phineas gasped and clenched his eyes shut. “NO!” Ferb screamed. NO! Perry chattered at the same time. The trigger was pulled, and out of the gun came small clear see-through bullets-ohh. Those are bubbles...wait what? Bubbles?! The deep maniacal laughter turned into helpless giggles. Ferb had just enough time to think to himself that the deep voice giggling sounded very weird before Doofenshmirtz and Phineas both burst into laughter as well. Wha? What’s going on? Perry looked around wildly. “Bubblegun!” Doofenshmirtz laughed hysterically, “Oh that’s a classic!” The restraints on their arms slid off and Doof fell to the floor laughing. “Oh! Oh wow! Perry the Platypus, you should see your face!” Ferb and Perry tore their gazes away from the evil scientist and looked towards Phineas. The teen boy had been untied by the man and was walking forward with the mysterious man. Otherwise known as........CARL. Carl?! Perry raised a brow, WHAT is going on? Carl giggled some more- thankfully he had removed the voice deepener he had been using- and then tried to explain, “Phineas here wanted to prove to you how ridiculous your assumptions about him getting hurt were, so he called up me and Doofenshmirtz to help him out! “I was supposed to ‘kidnap’ him and shut off the video camera in your house, and Doofenshmirtz was just in on it because we knew he’d tell you that no villain had taken him, otherwise.” Perry stared at them, Soooo, you’re saying Phineas was never in danger, and there was no reason for me to freak out like that? Phineas winced, “Pretty much. Please don’t be mad! I only wanted to prove to you how I could take care of myself!” Ferb and Perry glared, “Why you little...” Perry jumped up and punched his owner in on the right shoulder. “Ow!” Phineas yelped, just before Ferb and Perry grabbed him in a hug. If you EVER pull something like this again, I will put you in lockdown for a week. Don’t put it past me. Phineas grinned at his pet, “Okay fine. Sooo...does this mean I can stay at home by myself now?” “Nope.” the two said together. “What?! Bu-but-” The wall broke down and man on a robot platform stormed in. “FEAR ME DOOFENSHMIRTZ!” Rodney screamed from his robowalker. “Oh hiiii Rodney.” Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. “My name is Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein!!” Rodney yelled, “And I’ll be taking Agent P and these other people with me!” The robowalker extracted a claw that bent to scoop up Agent P, Phineas, Ferb, and Carl. Phineas thought quickly and jumped up to grab the claw, as Rodney tried to shake him off, he climbed up onto the platform of the robowalker. He ducked as Rodney threw a punch at him and pulled a wrench out of his back pocket. With it he smashed Rodney upside the head; the evil scientist swayed back and forth a while before collapsing on the ground. “Good work Phineas!” Carl called up to him as the agents of the O.W.C.A. swarmed the room, “These guys will take it from here!” Phineas slid down the robowalker to meet his brother and platypus. “See!” he cried, “I can take care of myself! I took that guy out didn’t I?” Perry smirked at him, Oh bravo. How much did you have to bribe him? “What?” Phineas asked. “So you had a back-up plan?” Ferb asked, “That’s smart of you, unfortunately we won’t fall for that. C’mon Phin. We’re going home.” “Oh you guys think I hired that guy?” Phineas questioned as he was dragged away, “I didn’t! Seriously guys! I haven’t even seen him before! Come on! You’ve gotta believe me!” “What do you think Doofenshmirtz?” Carl grinned at the man, “Was Ferb’s face funnier or Agent P’s?” “Oh definitely Perry the Platypus’.” ****** So maybe the first part of their date hadn’t turned out so well, but when Linda, in a fit of anger, had declared they would go to the ‘stupid antique convention’ he had been able to find a man with an old beautiful necklace. Which of course he purchased to give to Linda, so that smoothed their fight over. When they reached home they walked inside to find their two sons passed out on the couch with their pet Perry. “Honey?” Linda whispered so’s not to wake them up, “What is Ferb doing here?” “I don’t know. Maybe the trip got cancelled or something. Should we wake him to find out?” “No.” she smiled, “They look wiped out! We can wait for tomorrow.” He grinned and wrapped his arms around his wife, wondering what it was that tired out his sons. ****** It was two months later that Phineas’ next chance to stay home alone came, and, with extreme reluctance, Perry and Ferb agreed. After they were all gone, Phineas cheered and ran to the living room, yelling out, “I’m home alone! Yes! Yes!” The doorbell suddenly rang, and Phineas cautiously approached it. Carefully he opened it to reveal... A GIANT, HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING- Oh that’s the book I’ve been reading, when PHINEAS opened the door, there stood... HIS SISTER. “Hey Phineas!” Candace grinned, “Surprise! I came home for the summer!” “NO!” Phineas yelled. So much for being home alone. THE END! (*) Reference to other stories I plan to write in the future. (*)Carl is trying to say, "They're here! Prepare yourself!" but it is muffled. Category:Fanon Works Category:Stories